Should I go in?

Should I go in?
February 13, 2019

Standing at the shore, a non-swimmer, I stare out at the clear blue lake. The waves crashing against the shore appear more treacherous than ever before. Maybe it’s the fact I’m considering whether to jump in.

My heart races. Thoughts of all that could go wrong flood my mind; What if I flip? How deep is the water? Can the life vest really help? What if it doesn’t?

I take a deep breath and decide to make the leap. I jump into the kayak and with a helping push from a friend, I am off into the water. I clear the first wave, then the second and the third. With each wave I see the front of the kayak elevate above and no longer level with the back end.

My heart pounds harder. My body stiffens. My muscles tense. I tighten my grip on the paddle; my knuckles turn pale white. I close my eyes. I take another deep breath.

Before I realize, I am deep out in the lake. And a funny thing happens; the water is no longer rocky. It is calm. It is smooth as a lake should be. I stop paddling. I now drift with the water. Bathing in the sunshine.

I look around the lake, I see the beautiful redwoods and golden shores; with a clear blue sky as the backdrop. I see people all around the banks of the lake. I enjoy the serene and exquisite scene. When suddenly, it dawns on me, there are far more people on the banks than on the water. Some will never experience the serenity of it all because of their fears. I know because that was me. As I make my way back to the shore, I can’t believe my fears almost kept me from enjoying this day. 

But it is our doubts and fears that deceive us and prevent us from experiencing such beauty. Doubt and fear kill more dreams than failure ever will. It turns men into cowards, preventing them from acting. But it is our faith that saves us. It is our belief and optimism; a deep conviction within ourselves that we are enough, and the only requirement is for us to go within to tap into that potential.

When things seem a bit hectic, I encourage you to get away from the shore, travel deep within and what you’ll discover is a sense of peace. There is sunshine and calmness. When we go in, we find the water is smooth, we find tranquility. Maybe that’s what Jesus meant when he said, “Be still and know.”

I think about what Marianne Williamson said in her book, A Return to Love, when she wrote, “It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

It is the deep blue water that frightens us because it’s unknown and the waves are scary, it is much safer to hang out on the banks of what we already know. I say go deep into the lake. Go for the light and the darkness will vanish. And what is more, you will be liberated from your own fears.

And when you close your eyes and pause from the craziness of it all; just know that you are not alone. You are never alone. I am always with you.

- Coach Z

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